Today I bought my wife flowers
I know, you are saying how romantic but its exactly the opposite, I am really fuming/angry with her but cant seem to get through to her potential damage she could cause doing actions helping others in what I term dodgy ways.
No benefit for us can come, maybe only a slight chance of harm but why take the risk. Letting someone else use our untainted business name in a way that can never benefit us but can potentially harm us. And this person in the meantime she is helping is robbing people blind. Or at least that’s my take on it.
I know as a reader you are thinking what could be that bad but for me its principal. We are very good smart operators who do everything above board. We do not fleece people on the way through. We are not in China where sometimes shoddy things may happen. We are in New Zealand where I value our reputation and have no intention of tainting it.
It wont happen again and if it does I am sure I wont know about it. But my buying flowers is a gesture of peace. No she is not angry with me, its vice versa. But I need take the mood away so I can talk in a calm peaceful way.
Why is life so awkward. I know for Xiaoli and I even after 9 years the issues stem from us coming from 2 completely different cultures with different ways of doing things.
I am a person that will never go bed with anger in the house. I like calm. So it is me with the anger but Xiaoli causing it so I must pacify it.
I left Auckland over 10 years ago because the stress of being in very big business got to me. I was a wreck but only those that were close to me knew how close I was to derailing. Many years of dealing with clients million dollar budgets and the worry of whether campaigns we were doing were going to work or not. The 12 to 15 hour days of meetings with creative people, with clients, with the media all with their own theory on what was right and wrong with the final decision always resting with me.
Life is short, at 54 I realised that and took early and to most very unexpected retirement from an industry I was very good in. I went fishing in the far north of New Zealand. Mainly off Ninety Mile Beach. Fish I caught I often gave to elderly friends who would then distribute amongst their other elderly friends who couldn’t afford to buy fish. And being the far north I knew the fish would be eaten from head to tail and appreciated.
My time out before starting in tourism with Xiaoli in 2009 I discovered the real me. I had succeeded in big business I realised. I did extensive fund raising over 15 years for a childrens charity. I had played many sports but had never slowed down enough to discover me. Fishing on my own off a beach for a year or so gave me space to think, who am I and what do I really want to do.
First thing I made up my mind about was never again would I go to bed angry, without having vented my thoughts. I wanted to wake up the next day with a smile at the start of the new day.
Hence the flowers for Xiaoli. I don’t want to be angry with her and I don’t want her going to bed thinking I still harbour that anger. Say your piece, move on. Life is to short.
What else did I come up with on the beach as I fished all alone, I wanted to enter tourism. Didn’t know exactly how then but I went home and started working on a business plan. I still have that plan albeit direction changed considerably, and yes I love tourism