I survived bipolar
Today I lean is world mental health day and this week world mental health week. This was not my intended blog for today but things changed when I read tha information.
I have written blogs before on me beating or should I say conquering the dreaded disease, bipolar. A disease I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy. I survived the suicide attempts. I beat the odds. Some don’t.
Your friends and family who you always thought would forever be by your side, in a lot of cases run a mile some of it caused by your bipolar moments. And I had many looking back.
I was surprised some who deserted me when I needed them most. Looking back I realise I drove them away but at the time I didn’t understand that.
A very good friend of mine when I was diagnosed with bipolar said I knew you had it. Michael and I met back in 1991 and did about 12 years of charity work together. His company sponsored a car I entered in an annual week long charity event here in New Zealand. One car turned into 2 then I went the whole step and bought an old fire engine all to help in my endeavour to raise money for sick and needy children. 1991 I had lost a son at just over 4 years hence my desire to do the charity work.
Personally I raised over $150,000 for the charity and my team a lot more.
Michael stood by me through my marriage split and never judged me when I entered a relationship that nearly destroyed me. But one day Michael was not there. For about 18 months he was distant and I knew his marriage was rough and ultimately went through a breakup. His wife would ring me at odd times of day and night saying Michael had gone walking. At the time I never understood. He would always call me hours later or his wife to come and collect him. He would have walked miles and miles yet had little recollection of the walk or where he was headed.
When I was diagnosed after my second suicide attempt and I told Michael then he said he knew. And it was only then he told me he was also a bipolar sufferer. But he said he could never tell me I was until I accepted the diagnosis for myself. I have always remembered that.
I see the disease in people now to. It may not be bipolar, maybe just depression. But I see it in the way they act. The things they do. Their reactions but Michael is right, if you try tell them they will think you are mad. Nobody likes mental illness. Nobody. Those that suffer it hate it. Those that don’t suffer it or haven’t had much to do with it run a mile. Tend not to read the many articles that here in New Zealand tend to finish with many help lines you can ring.
I do remember once I phoned a help line but the person obviously was not well trained. That is a pity. I needed help desperately. I was screaming out for it and later ended up in hospital. Had that person been trained then I may not have ended up in hospital, but then again I may of anyway.
Don’t switch off to articles on mental health. Believe me, you never know when you may be affected even if its through an acquaintance. It is a serious issue and is going to get worse, not better and the human race largely caused it with the developments over the last 200 years from industrial to computers and TV. Our brains have not developed as fast as we have developed this modern era